A Bridge Too Far...

Been a while since my last Blog and if you've read any of them, you can see it's to do with my personal interaction with technology, creativity and I guess a common theme or purpose. One thing I haven't spoken about, is the present and it's here that causes a bit of sorrow and is why i've steered clear, but will address now...no matter how uncomfortable.

But before I do this, maybe it's worth summing up 'who' I think I am! I don't have the 'family thing' with marriage and Kids and don't miss it...cause it didn't happen! Yes, I often think what it may have been like to be similar to everyone else, but i've never felt like everyone else...of course, we all feel unique and maybe i've took it to extremes, not that I think I'm better or anything, just that I seem to see things from a different perspective.

Always been the quiet guy who tends to listen, rather than interject or be as assertive as I should be, but this contrasts with being a Musician that has stood on stages in front of 2000 people every weekend, which didn't bother me...the more people in the audience, the easier. Now this may come across as being negative, but really it's not...I've devoted my life to filling my synapses with knowledge and ignoring the chaff...I feel good about this, but then again, to be outside of the 'crowd' has its drawbacks.

This post has really come about because i've been working on a 3 prong attack for many years, with Audio skills, Web Skills and more recently Video Production Skills, all amassed over a period of 20 years or so and believed they would all converge at some point...but I've hit a Brick Wall! I find that this journey that I've sacrificed a lot for is coming to an end, due to the economics...or should I say, incompetence of our financial system...(leave that to another time)

At last, the 3 components were coming together, but I can see are now, just beyond my grasp. Maybe a change of direction is needed, maybe this never ending thirst for knowledge is wrong and I should look for something else...but I can't let it go. If you were to sum me up in one word, it would be "Creative"...to do things that no one else has done (or very few).

Please, it's not sad in any way, but I think I'll always stay on the fringe of things...just the realisation that you've gone down a road that ends, is a bit...err... difficult to swallow! ;-)